A List of 40 Recovery Tools

1.    Abstinence (partial or total):  We get support and growth by abstaining from people, places or things that we consider harmful. 

2.    Acceptance: Accept that you are a sex and love addict. 

3.    Affirmations: Retraining "old thoughts" of low self-esteem.

4.    Anonymity and Confidentiality: Guard other's safety by not repeating what is heard in a meeting or other confidential setting

5.    Balance: Each day remember to develop personal relationships with people other than your partner.  Engage in pleasure, education, rest, creativity, spiritual involvement, and play.  

6.    Carry Recovery with You: Keep reminders, cues, instructions, or anything else that will help in your purse or wallet.

7.    Conferences, conventions, retreats, and workshops: Spend time focused on recovery.

8.    Deep breathing: If you feel a panic attack coming on, try taking slow deep breaths.

9.    Honesty: Work to eliminate denial, half truths, white lies, fibs, partial truths and overt dishonesty with ourselves and others.

10.    Humor: "Laughter is the best medicine" is true.  Never take yourself too seriously.

11.    Journaling: Writing provides a way to be honest with ourselves and our Higher Power.

12.    Literature: Read some recovery (AA, SLAA, or any relevant recovery books and literature) literature, everyday.

13.    Live in the moment: "One Day At a Time" as we often say.

14.    Meetings: Where we share our experience, strength and hope with each other to better understand our common problem and work together towards the solution.

15.    Open-mindedness:  Be vigilant to listen for similarities and not differences.

16.    People, Places and Things: Choose to avoid all triggering situations, or make them safe if you can't avoid them.

17.    Physical Activity: Spend time doing fun activities, and get involved in sports, exercise, and other physical activities.

18.    Prayer and Meditation: A means of establishing a conscious contact with a Power greater than ourselves, for spiritual healing.

19.    Prioritize: Make recovery your number one priority.

20.    Professional Help: Your addiction may have been a subconscious way of self-medicating yourself for wounds you carry from your earlier life.

21.    Recovery Partners: Being accountable to someone is an important anchor for sobriety.

22.    Recovery Plan: A recovery plan is a predetermined way of expressing our sexuality consistent with our values, so that even when confused, we have a written guide to help us.  

23.    Relationships: Dating is a way of changing the instant gratification habit and getting to know more about ourselves and another person, before committing to any sexual decisions.  

24.    Reminders: Posting small signs or post-its with affirmations or healthy reminders near your computer, your bathroom mirror, your car's interior, or wherever you want to be "reminded". 

25.    S.A.F.E.:  If it’s Secret; Abusive; Feelings; Empty, then it’s likely our addiction.

26.    Service: Service is helping ourselves by helping others.

27.    Sharing: Being honest and vulnerable in front of fellow recovering addicts is frightening but worth it.

28.    Slogans: Simple statements that can be used in crisis situations

29.    Socializing: Breaking down our isolation and getting to know people in a nonsexual context.

30.    Sponsorship: Sponsorship is two people with the same problem helping each other to work the program.

31.    Need a Meeting? Start a Meeting: SLAA Fellowship Wide Services provides help in creating new groups.  

32.    Support Network: Meeting with other people to discuss your journey helps you to know you are not alone and allows you to get another perspective on your struggles.

33.    Surrender: "Surrender to Win" is a slogan.

34.    Take the First Step: Repeat the words "We admitted we were powerless over our sex and love addiction — that our lives had become unmanageable," until the meaning sinks in.

35.    Telephone: The telephone is your lifeline between meetings.

36.    Think It Through: "Interrupt the acting out" by developing and memorizing a set of strategies to help you to avoid acting out (back to a well-written recovery plan).  Postpone the slip, reminding yourself you can have it later but you'll talk to someone first.

37.    Top Lines: Replace Behaviors with Healthy Ones: Break the habit pattern. We can't get sober in a vacuum.

38.    Twelve Steps: Working the steps is the foundation of recovery; they are a set of spiritual practices for personal growth and recovery.

39.    Willingness: Become willing. Open your mind to the possibility of giving up the slip, rather than giving in to it.  

40.    Withdrawal: Withdrawal — Gateway to Freedom, Hope, and Joy