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Suggested format for S.L.A.A. meetings

S.L.A.A. Preamble

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition-oriented fellowship based on the model pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous. The only qualification for S.L.A.A. membership is a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction. S.L.A.A. is supported entirely through the contributions of its membership, and is free to all who need it.

To counter the destructive consequences of sex and love addiction we draw on five major resources:

As a fellowship S.L.A.A. has no opinion on outside issues and seeks no controversy. S.L.A.A. is not affiliated with any other organizations, movements or causes, either religious or secular.

We are, however, united in a common focus: dealing with our addictive sexual and emotional behavior. We find a common denominator in our obsessive/compulsive patterns which renders any personal differences of sexual or gender orientation irrelevant.

We need protect with special care the anonymity of every S.L.A.A. member. Additionally, we try to avoid drawing undue attention to S.L.A.A. as a whole from the public media.

S.L.A.A. Twelve Steps (©1985 S.L.A.A.)

1. We admitted we were powerless over sex and love addiction—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with a Power greater thanourselves, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to sex and love addicts, and to practice these principles in all areas of our lives.

The Twelve Traditions of S.L.A.A. (©1985 S.L.A.A.)

1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon S.L.A.A. unity.
2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—a loving God as this Power may be expressed through our  group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
3. The only requirement for S.L.A.A. membership is the desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction. Any two  or more persons gathered together for mutual aid in recovering from sex and love addiction may call themselves an S.L.A.A. group, provided that as a group they have no other affiliation.
4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or S.L.A.A. as a whole.
5. Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the sex and love addict who still suffers.
6. An S.L.A.A. group or S.L.A.A. as a whole ought never to endorse, finance, or lend the S.L.A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, or prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
7. Every S.L.A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
8. S.L.A.A. should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
9. S.L.A.A. as such ought never to be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to  those they serve.
10. S.L.A.A. has no opinion on outside issues; hence the S.L.A.A. name ought never to be drawn into public controversy.
11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, TV, film, and other public media. We need guard with special care the anonymity of all fellow S.L.A.A. members.
12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

 
STEPS & TRADITIONS REPRINTED FOR ADAPTATION BY PERMISSION OF A.A. WORLD SERVICES, INC.

Suggested Announcement Regarding Crosstalk, Feedback and Triggering Language

In sharing during S.L.A.A. meetings, we proceed in an orderly, respectful manner. The chairperson, speaker, or last person who shared will call on people to share. We do not interrupt one another or engage in discussion—this is called “crosstalk.”  While we encourage expressions of identification with, and appreciation for speakers, we also do not judge or comment on what people say, or tell them what to do—this is called “feedback.” It should be noted that we encourage open, honest discussion of the various ways in which the disease of sex and love addiction has manifested itself within our lives.  However, we avoid naming specific persons, locations, publications, etc., related to acting out. Please be aware that some of us can be triggered by the use of sexually explicit and/or abusive language, and aggressive behavior. Our recovery depends upon safe rooms and a spirit of unity. If for any reason your feel unsafe, please raise your hand and ask the chair to read these guidelines again.

Suggested Closing Statement

In the spirit of recovery from sex and love addiction, we suggest that sex between members not be treated lightly. Sex between people new to the fellowship and other members is discouraged. Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else. Let there be no gossip or criticism of one another, but only love, understanding, and companionship. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities. Who you see here, and what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here. 

Service Guidelines

It is suggested that individuals filling group service positions (e.g., Co-Chair, Treasurer, etc.) possess at least 1 month free from bottom-line addictive behavior, or, preferably, 3 months of sobriety and six months of S.L.A.A. attendance, although sobriety requirements are determined by individual groups, per our Fourth Tradition.

Keeping Meetings Safe

In order to provide a place where recovery from sex and love addiction can occur, it is essential that all meeting participants practice and observe the First Tradition of S.L.A.A.: “Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on S.L.A.A. unity.” Individuals unwilling or unable to conduct themselves in accordance with this Tradition may be asked to leave a meeting.

Additional Information

This Meeting List is produced by the Greater New York Intergroup (GNYI) of S.L.A.A., www.slaany.org, 212-946-5298, info@slaany.org.

Contributions and correspondence are mailed to: GNYI of S.L.A.A., P.O. Box 8086, New York, NY 10116-4650.

More information about S.L.A.A. may be found at www.slaafws.org, 210-828-7900, info@slaafws.org, 1550 NE Loop 410, Ste. 118,  San Antonio, TX 78209.

© 2009 Greater New York Intergroup of S.L.A.A.